......and Jesus set me FREE.
I was reflecting today on all the things the lord has done in my life in the past 8 years alone.Wow! He has been so merciful and good to me.There is one year in particular that will be forever etched in stone. That year is a monument, reminding me of another Red Sea that was parted by the Lord.
It was in 2016, a time when I had been struggling for years with a crippling social anxiety. I couldn’t even enter a grocery store with out feeling completely overwhelmed with fear. There were so many times I’d left a cart full of groceries sitting in the store only to flee to my car to safety. I remember crying so hard as intense panic ensued. The presence of people was just too much to bare. I spent many years like that. Stuck in my home, trying to work myself up to attend family gatherings, teach piano lesson, attend school functions for my kids, any social situation was so overwhelming- and I always masked it with a smile. There was so much guilt, fear and shame in that struggle, so in that bondage was where I hid. Every Sunday morning I would work up enough strength in order to face my fear and take my kids to church. For 2 years, I sat in a pew in the back of the church, and only spoke to a handful of people (and only because they spoke first to me). One Sunday morning, the Pastor preached a message in a series called, “All in Full Out”. He spoke about each of us having things we were called to do, things that God had placed on our heart and we needed to stop sitting and start doing something about it.
I know some people say they hear God in a still small voice, but most often, for a tenacious person like me, I hear God in a loud Texas HOLLER! And that day, God hollered really loud to me, “FEED MY SHEEP! “ I can’t explain the way the lord communicates to me, but I’ll do my best to communicate. When He speaks, one phrase becomes a blue print of a path He wants me to walk, or a message He has me to share. And I knew in that instant that “Feed my sheep” meant He was going to have to move a mountain before I could go anywhere. Because He was calling me to evangelize.
And move that mountain He did. Because as soon as the service had concluded, the same girl who had avoided people for 2 years, had found herself telling the Pastor all that the Holy Spirit had said to her in the message he had shared. 2 months later, GOD HAD MOVED THAT MOUNTAIN! All I had to do was obey. With that complete trust and surrender THIS is what He did. This is me praying for a brothel owner after telling him what Jesus had done for me.
I had never witnessed to anyone before that night, never prayed boldly, or been surrounded by people with out being overcome with fear. Yet here I was.
No, really, HERE HE WAS IN ME!
You see, on the other side of our mountain is an ocean of souls only WE CAN REACH. They are just waiting for our obedient surrender—-for someone to point them to THE ONE WHO SETS THE CAPTIVES FREE! I realized that night, I was born to be an abolitionist. But what I wanted abolished wasn’t just the slavery I saw in human trafficking, but the abolishment of the bondage and shame of SIN! Because I knew all too well that we aren’t free until THE SON SETS US FREE!
Here is what I journaled the night THIS Momma went into a brothel.
‘It’s a Friday night, and I’m in deep prayer as I’m browning ground turkey for dinner. I hurriedly throw the meat into sauce and rice and serve it to my husband, 10 and 13 year old….so I can head off to the brothels….with Elijah Rising. Here were my thoughts, that night.
Everyone keeps asking me” What did you see last night?”
I tell them….I saw a WAR!!!!!! I saw people on both sides of the spiritual battlefield. Some of them warrior sisters and brothers. Obedient to the call, equipped with the fire of the Holy Ghost. Swords of scripture and shields of prayer to protect against the evil encountered in these devil dens. But there were others there too. People standing on the side of our enemy. Souls held captive in darkness. Prisoners of Satan. Young girls, daughters and mothers whose souls were empty. Their bodies and minds destroyed. Their eyes and hearts begging for SALVATION. There were men, fathers, brothers and sons. They were parking outside of brothels in minivans, the little league shoe polish letters still on their windows, they too consumed with emptiness as they were leaving children and mothers at home to support the destruction of a young precious girl. Their hearts and eyes seeking the same SALVATION. Allowing lust and addiction to hold the victory. Pimp, prostitute, sex slave, “John”, they all are slaves to the same master. And he is trying to win this war in our CITY!!! But Jesus IS the victor! And last night we prayed, hugged, loved and shared Jesus to everyone of those slaves. I was able to witness and ay hands on as I prayed for the owner of a brothel. I even got to bear hug and pray for a desperate heartbroken sex slave. We even witnessed and prayed over a John. What did I see last night? My friends, saw Jesus in a brothel, next door to a satanic church…and guess what?!!! He shined in the darkness like a city on a Hill!!!!’